People don't understand why women have such a hard time with self esteem. A while back, my husband and I went out with a friend of ours. We were deep in conversation about another friend, and what she was doing in her life. That's when it happened. The friend turned to me and said, "Well, you're not that attractive, and you do pretty well for yourself!"
I've been a little broken ever since that moment.
I try to be extremely positive all the time. Sometimes it's real positivity, and sometimes it's just a facade.
In my mind at that time, I tried to justify the statement with, oh, I know what he means. I have a job. I have a boyfriend who loves me. (This was pre-marriage.) I have friends. I have all of these positive things in my life. But lately, the statement he made almost two years ago, has been extremely damaging.
I've done things to try to improve myself with diet and exercise and trying to dress properly, but that really doesn't change my looks. My parents didn't believe in braces when I was a child, so, my teeth are crooked, and I'm extremely obese.
Maybe I should start looking into getting braces and an adult, but we just don't have the money right now.
Part of me just can't believe that something that was said almost two years ago is bothering my psyche so much now. I've never let anything get to me like this before, but this was coming from someone who is supposed to be my friend. My husband was there, but he didn't correct him. Maybe my husband didn't realize how awful the statement was at that time.
It's really hard to look at our examples of what looks feminine in media, because I'm not it.
Hearing, "Oh, but you're beautiful inside!" doesn't fix the situation either.
Why this person thought it was ok to say this, I have no idea.
Body image is such a part of our sense of self whether or not it's good.