Tuesday, September 24, 2013
1. I was born to older parents, my mom being 45 years old when she had me and my dad 49.
2. I have this weird memory of my sister Hope feeding me baby food that was green in a high chair. I can't tell if this is a real memory, pseudo memory, or a fake one that my mind conjured up!
3. I have other weird memories too. Like when my sister in law Karen came to visit with my brother and kids. She had a line going of kids taking medicine, antibiotics or something. I got in line, and she gave me some too!
4. I started Kindergarten at 4, because there weren't rules back then that students couldn't start until 5. I remember my school and classroom. I also remember my baby sitter! She was awful! (I have lots of crazy baby sitter stories!) One time, at pick up time, I refused to get in the baby sitter's care! I kept saying, "My sister is coming to get me! I'm not going with you!" And I didn't. It turned out that Hope was coming to get me, she just had forgot or something.
I think I had my first surgery at 4. It was an exploratory surgery, because I was sick and they couldn't figure out why. (It was probably all kidney related, but they didn't figure that out.) I remember Hope was baby sitting me and I spilled a glass of ice on the floor. (I remember that part.) She told me to pick it up, and I did. She said, she knew I was really sick because I obeyed her. (I don't remember that part.) She called our parents and they took me to the hospital. When they did the surgery, they took out a swollen lymph node and my appendix.
The biggest memory I have of being in the hospital is pulling out the tube they had stuck in my nose, and the nurse putting it back in... while I was awake.
5. At 5, I started first grade at Klondike Elementary school, the same place I was in Kindergarten. I didn't really like my teacher, nor did I feel like I got enough attention from her! That became obvious when she told my parents to hold me back in first grade again. She told them, I had a "Short Attention Span." OK, or maybe she was just an awful teacher and really boring! Anyway, they agreed and kept me in the same grade another year. Back then, they didn't just give you drugs and move you along, nor were they interested in finding a real treatment for that sort of thing.
6. At 6, I started the first grade for a second time at Klondike Elementary School. I was no longer the youngest in the classroom. I had Mrs. Hood. I did "accelerated reading" because of being held back a grade but being ahead of all of the other students. One thing I do remember is, sitting on the floor and listening the the space shuttle lift off on the radio. We didn't really know what was going on, but Mrs. Hood shut it off and started crying. I didn't really find out what was going on until I went home and watched the news with my parents. This is when the Challenger Crashed. This actually happened when I was already 7, but it was within the same school year.
7. At 7, the memories I have start becoming more solidified and real. I know that I had Mrs. Merkel for second grade. In that class room, we were taught a special math class by Purdue students. They were using us as guinea pigs for a project they were doing. It had something to do with the retention of what was being taught. I had to go back years later to Purdue, and they gave me a math test to see what I had remembered. I loved Mrs. Merkel very much, even when she would get mad at me for my obsession with making random origami objects. I would keep them in my "mail box" or little cubby that was for homework, and she hated that.
She had a microphone stand in her class room. I would spend all of my indoor recess time making up songs and singing them into that fake microphone. (There wasn't one in the stand!) More than once, a teacher would come over from the neighboring classroom during recess and tell me I was too loud!
8. At 8, the only memory I have at the moment is my baptism and Amber's baptism. I remember sister Dibb working really had to make me my own baptism dress, and then, I had to share it with all of my nieces. I still have that dress in my closet.
9. At age 9, while in third grade, I remember not getting along with my teacher at all. My teacher was Mrs. Robertson. This is the first year I remember having homework I was supposed to do. My mom and I also took a cross country train trip. We went from Lafayette, IN to Seattle, WA to see my brother, back across the Midwest to the east coast, and down to Tampa, FL to see my Grandpa. My mother sent a note to my teacher to get all of my homework for the two weeks of school I would miss. My mom didn't have me do any of the homework on the trip. We did it when we got back. I also remember going to the snack car and eating these little pizzas that the sold. For other meals, she had taken along these little cans of tuna. I remember sitting with her and eating those. We didn't eat in the dining car often, because that was expensive. But we did a few times. We also met a women named Marcy, that I remember hung out with for the east coast leg of our trip. When we got back, my mom and I did a few power sessions to get through the homework. I remember get one or two pages of the back with, "100% to whoever did this!" from the teacher.
10. At 10, I was mostly in 4th grade at Klondike Elementary School. When I found out I had Mrs. Hirsch for a teacher, a lot of my friends told me she was mean! She really was just old. She was German and had an accent. For some reason, I think she was a Holocaust survivor. We had an assembly where they honored her, and I think that was the reason. I remember an assembly with a guy who brought a Moog Synthesizer. The song that was his "selling point" for his demonstration was "Jump" from Van Halen. I don't think I was that impressed with it at the time.
We had really old reading books. One time in our reading group, the book had the word "queer" in it, as in, "That was a little queer!" and Mrs. Hirsch got embarrassed, and said, "They aren't supposed to put that in books anymore!" We had no idea what she was talking about, or why we weren't supposed to use that word anymore.
11. At 11, we moved to the opposite side of town. My parents had to file bankruptcy, and we lost the trailer we were living in. Most of this probably happened when I was ten, but it didn't affect me until we had to move and I had to change schools. I started my 5th grade year at Durgan Elementary School. This is the year I met Mr. Dunn, the music teacher. He still comes in the store and talks to me to this day! As I student, I had a really hard time functioning. Moving to a new school and not having any friends it rough on a 11 year old. This is probably the first time I suffered from depression.
At 11 years old is when they (the doctors) first figured out that my kidneys weren't functioning properly.
That was my first experience with having a voiding cystogram X-ray. I had my first kidney related surgery.
12. At 12, I started my school year at Tecumseh Middle School. I remember having a big birthday party at the self storage place we lived at because my dad was the manager. There was a girl named Kendra that came to my party, and she had a cold. When she left, there was a circle of used tissues around her spot. A. Why would her mother think it's ok to bring her to a party that sick? and B. Why wouldn't she clean up after herself?! My mother was pretty grossed out! She told me to never do anything like that at someone else's house!
When my dad last that job after a couple months, we moved to an apartment on another side of town, and I started going to Southwestern Middle School. Again, I didn't know any other students, and it started another year of feeling depressed.
When I was 12, my family took a cross country trek by car to Utah, and then, up to Washington, back to Utah, and then, down across the southern states. It was probably around a three week trip. My friend Jennifer went with us. I think my parents were worried about me getting bored or something. Not that I didn't enjoy her company, but it was all our parents' idea. One memory of this trip was, I was sick. A lot. I had migraines for a good portion of the trip. Part of was elevation sickness, and part of it was, my brother's family drank milk at every meal. We didn't realize how lactose intolerant I really was.
13. At 13, my parents decided to rent a house, we moved, and I changed back to the school I started the 6th grade in. They bought me a violin. I started taking private lessons for the instrument. I started making some friends at the school. I remember having a big 13th Birthday party.
Also, at 13, the re-did the ureter re-implantation surgery that didn't work the first time.
14. At 14, I was still at the same middle school, Tecumseh. I was getting more involved in music activities, with the orchestra and choir. I decided out of nowhere to become a wrestling manager for the middle school team. By the end of the school year, I learned that sometimes your middle school friends aren't your friends for ever. On the last day of the school year, a girl whom I had been friends with since 5th grade started saying really mean things to me. That was the end of that relationship. Since she was the "leader" of the group, I lost a lot of friends with the parting of that friendship. That's ok though, because I moved on to High School then! During that Summer, I auditioned for the Dance Team and made it! I was originally slated as an alternate, but that didn't matter to me!
15. At 15, I spent my Freshman year of high school meeting new people and making new friends. I danced, I sang, I played in the orchestra. I joined Jefferson Players, the theater group, and did plays.
16. At 16, I got my first job at Arni's restaurant. It's still one of my favorite places to this day!
17. At 17, I was trying to make it through high school. It got a little rough there for a while. This would be the first time I would be told that a kidney transplant was in my future from the doctor at Riley Hospital.
18. At 18, I finished high school alive! That was almost a miracle in itself! I applied for college. One college. Indiana State University. I suppose that's because Mr. Prill, my high school drama teacher went there. He had a great love for the school, so, I decided I would like it too! It also had a music department, which I actually got my acceptance letter for that before I got my acceptance letter to the school.
19. At 19, I was a freshman in college. I was a horrible student. My health was getting worse. My kidney doctor told me to take classes like Under Water Basket Weaving, because there were too many toxins clouding my brown to do well in school. If he only knew how being a freshman music student worked. I was put on academic probation after my first semester. Second semester, with a lot of help from friends, I my GPA was over a 3, getting me off of academic probation.
20. At 20, I bought a green pair of Doc Martin Combat boots. I bought them for half the price that they normally are. I still wear these boots in the Winter! If only shoes were made like this now! I joined Sigma Alpha Iota that Fall. I was on Dialysis during the Summer I was 20.
21. At 21, on November 4th, 1999, I received the call for my kidney transplant. The transplant happened the next day. The new Millennium happened this year! I survived Y2K!
22. At 22, I moved in with my friend Allison. She got pregnant with triplets and moved out. Nikki moved into her place in the apartment. I lived on Ohio St. in Terre Haute, IN. The street was lined with the most beautiful trees that had gorgeous blossoms on them in the Spring.
23. At. 23, I was still in college. I was trying to finish up my Music Business Degree.
24. At 24, I finally started my internship at J.W. Pepper. I moved to a different state to do this. I was around 45 minutes away from Chicago, and rarely ever went there!
25. At a quarter of a century, I was still living in Chicago. I was hanging out with Kelly, Steve, and Brooke. They were showing me around!
26. At 26, a big decision came my way. I decided to transfer with my job to Indianapolis. I moved back to Indiana, but to the big city of Indianapolis. I was an hour from my parents and an hour and a half away from my sister.
27. 27 must not be a real memorable year for me, because nothing is jumping out at me. But a quick fact: I have two cats. I've had a cat or cats for most of my life. I'm definitely a cat person and not huge on dogs.
28. Nothing at 28 is coming to me either. I still worked at J.W. Pepper. I still lived in the same apartment. I started hanging out with Jenn and sometimes her friend Bryan, who are still two of my favorite people.
29. At 29, I was still doing all of the same stuff. Throw a lot of karaoke in there!
30. At 30, I received my Jade Moon dishes from my sister and my parents as my "Adult" gift for my Birthday. I still love them! Too bad Target discontinued the style.
31. At 31, Bryan and I went out to karaoke all the time! We had a place we liked to go and a K.J. that was our favorite. I met Ian. I started the Indy Adult Show Choir. It was a pretty eventful year!
32. At 32, the IndyAdult Show Choir had our first show, which was a Christmas show.
33. At 33, I continued to direct the Indy Adult Show Choir.
34. At 34, Ian and I got engaged! Most of my time being 34 has been consumed with wedding planning!
35. And now, I'm 35! I can't wait to see what all is in store for me this year, with our wedding and so much else going on!
This blog has turned into quite the epic blog! I hope you enjoyed it if you got all the way to the end!
Friday, April 5, 2013
I too have numerous subscriptions to magazines. This year, I bought a Kindle Fire. After my subscriptions run out, if I renew any of them, it will be on the Kindle. I do not want any more paper coming into my apartment!
Ian and I were watching an episode of "Hoarders" last night. After seeing my parent's apartment on Sunday, he has started thinking about the situation. He asked, "Did your house look like that when you were younger?"
I answered, "Sometimes. Yes."
I talked to him about how instead of teaching me how to clean my room, my parents would just let it pile up. Then, when we couldn't walk through it any more, my mom would sit on the pile of stuff on the floor with a trash bag, and just throw it all away! I have problems getting rid of things to this day! This is where my hoarding tendencies come from.
I have this vague memory from when I was really young. My dad had eaten grapes with seeds on them, and the seeds accidentally got spilled on the floor. They stayed on the floor, a carpeted area of the living room for a week or two. (The time frame of how long the seeds actually stayed on the floor may be distorted by how young I was when this happened!) I thought they looked like spiders and would jump over they area every time I had to go near them. Even after they were finally cleaned up, I would still jump over the place, remembering the "spider seeds."
One of my hoarding tendencies is with food. I save something I really like until I really want it! I know now as an adult, I can go buy more, but as a child, I didn't think my parents would go buy me more. I had a bag of candy from Halloween. It ended up in the pile in the middle of my bed room that hadn't been cleaned for months. My nieces and nephew came to visit and found the bag of candy. They climbed up on to my top bunk and ate it! The funny thing was, it was MONTHS past Halloween! I wasn't even mad about it, because I had completely forgotten about the Halloween candy. I think my sister in law, who found her children randomly eating the candy, was more upset about the situation than anyone else.
When my mother had triple bypass surgery, I went to my parents' house to help them out a bit. There was an ironing board sitting out with a bunch of clean laundry on it. I decided to help out, I would fold it and put it away. I did this. I went home for a few days and came back. IT WAS ALL BACK OUT! I asked my dad why? Was he ironing? Did he need help with the folding? He said, NO. He just didn't want it put away! Now, I realize, my mom was in the hospital, and this was just weeks after my brother had past away. This was just not logical to me! I was trying to help out. Plus, the hospital said they were going to come and make sure that mom could get around the house post-op!
Now, as an adult, I watch the hoarding shows, and yes, sometimes I say to myself, "Well, I'm not that bad!" Other times, they inspire me to throw things out. Sometimes, they just make me sad knowing about what my childhood was like. I often feel like I don't have a lot of the adult skills that I should have been taught in my early years. I know that Ian picks up a lot of the slack with cleaning. I really appreciate him for that!
It's hard for me to listen to my mom's logic when I go to her apartment. Just recently, we went to visit, and a new kitchen chair appeared. Now, my mother has a whole matching kitchen table with chairs set that are absolutely beautiful. She also has a very large couch and three living room chairs, one of the living room chairs belonging to the cat. ALL of this furniture is in the same room! She doesn't have a separate dining room from her living room. There is even more furniture aside just from seating. I said, "Mom, why did you get an extra chair?" She answered, "I needed another place for my home teachers to sit!" WHAT!?!?!?! 4 Dining room chairs, three living room chairs, a very large couch, and she's buying chairs?!?!?! I explained to her how this was beyond ridiculous! She did NOT need another chair! She said, "But it was only $3!"
I was done.
I will re-access every thing I own and get rid of things. I know I'm not perfect in this situation. It's going to take me time to get to the point I need to be at.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
I love him very much!
Happy Anniversary, Ian!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Step 1. Save a $1,000 for a cushion during emergencies.
I have done this. I actually finished this a couple weeks in during the class, because I had already started it.
Step 2. The Debt Snow Ball
This is the current step I am working on. I'm in a crapton of debt, if you didn't know. Well, now you do! My debt included two credit cards, a car payment, college loans, and moneys owed to the government. During the class, I paid off a credit card that I had been working on paying off since 2004. It was the card I used to pay for medicine and other necessities in college. This was a MAJOR accomplishment for me! Not that I wasn't working on having it paid off this year, but now it is done! It is off my back! The load is getting lighter!
I'm currently working on the second credit card. Using the Debt Snow Ball, I plan on having it paid off by December!
Originally, at some point last year, Brian was working with us and explaining how would could be out of debt withing seven years. At first it was hard to see how that was even possible! Being in debt sucks! I was to the point were I was like, how did this even happen?! I mean, I know where debt comes from. I get it! But when your at the bottom looking up, it's hard to see the light. Well, my friends, there is light at the end of the tunnel! (I'm trying to see how many cliche puns I can throw in this blog!)
Ian and I are setting goals and working on this together. These goals include everything from getting out of debt, buying a home, and even vacation planning!
I hate to seem like I'm all hopped up on Dave Ramsey and Financial Peace University, even though I know I am. The thing is, it works! If you have any questions about it, please ask! Ian and I will try to answer them, and if we can't, we have some really good friends that might even teach the class!
I'll give more updates later in the year as we work on the Debt Snow Ball.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
As a teenager, it started to sink in a little bit. My friend's mom started to look for a little home to move in to. She would take my friend and me with her when she toured these houses. They all seemed extremely small to me! The idea that someone would by a home so small was a little baffling! The thing was, it was just my friend and her mom. They didn't need a gigantic home. They just needed a enough space for the two of them.
What does this all mean now?
I'm currently an apartment dweller. I'm O.K. with that! I do have a thing with space. I like having a lot of living space.
I do want to get a house eventually, but I'm in no hurry. Getting out of debt first is more important.
I've learned that I need to decide what I think is most important in a home, and make choices based on that. For me, that would be an amazing kitchen! I do want space in other rooms, but a kitchen that has space, whether that's counter space or cabinet and storage space will be the important things to me.
I've had to tell myself, a house for two or three people with cats is not going to be gigantic. In fact, it's probably going to be on the small side.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Well, that got me thinking about my baptism day. I remember a few things about that day, but there is one huge thing I think about that day. Guilt. Down right guilt. That's all I thought about that entire day. I was supposed to be washed of my sins and be perfect. But I wasn't perfect, nor would I ever become perfect. I had some huge sins on my mind at the time, yes, even at eight years old. In my mind, at that time, I could never over come them.
I don't think I've ever over came that guilt. It has stayed with me for 25 years. I've just learned to live around it. At the time, I felt like I joined the church based on lies, and continually lied my entire life.
I'm over living in guilt.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
My issue is, when I show you a beginning level book for that instrument in his/her age level, because you asked what book to use, and you don't even understand the first lesson, maybe you shouldn't be the one teaching said child!
Pay for the lessons!
End of rant.
*I would say this about teaching any subject!
Friday, February 15, 2013
I think it was when I was in 5th grade, but I could be wrong, February 14th fell on a Saturday. So, that meant that we were celebrating Valentine's Day on Friday the 13th. I remember having so much fun and loving the whole day! It was such a good feeling!
This one is a little negative: I used to try to bring snacks on different holidays at work. One year for Valentine's day, I brought in my favorite cupcakes: Strawberry Cupcakes with Strawberry Icing. Three of my coworkers at different times, basically told me, I was just trying to make them fat. (They had said this on other occasions too.) After that, I decided I wasn't going to bring them treats anymore.
Now, I actually have a Valentine. This is pretty awesome. He's pretty awesome. He sends me flowers every year to work. Like I said, he's pretty awesome. He always remembers, yet, I fail at getting him something pretty much every year! This year, I've had a cold all week. I barely left my apartment, except to go to work. I thought he wouldn't do the flower thing this year, because we are taking the Dave Ramsey course, Financial Peace University. But he still did!
Even though I didn't always have a Valentine on the day, I always tried to make it into doing nice things for others. I know people get lonely. I understand that. Some people turn a day into a bunch of negativity! I suggest going out and doing nice things for people. Buy the person in line behind you at the fast food place their meal. Open a door for someone. Give a friend a phone call just to say, "Hi." It's all good stuff! You'll feel better knowing you helped someone else have a better Valentine's Day!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
I have this memory of the third grade. Mrs. Robertson was my teacher. We were sitting at a table in our reading group discussing reports we had written on animals. Mine was on the tiger. We had to answer provided questions for our reports. One question was, "What are your animal's enemies?" Well, I gave the answer out of the book I had read: The tiger has no known enemies. Mrs. Robertson turns to me with this weird look on her face and says, "Yes it does! He stands on two legs and holds a gun!" I was so in shock that she talked that way to me, I just stared at her! She got this "Well duh!" Look on her face and said, "A man!"
I remember being extremely upset by her attitude and actions towards me. I answered her question by what I had read, yet I'm sure she counted points off because I didn't read between the lines and give the answer she wanted!
I'm sure this has psychologically affected me for the rest of my life!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
When I was little, I would not only memorize every swoop, ornament, and note that the pop diva was singing, I also would get to the point that, I would look like her singing was coming out of MY MOUTH! When I was in 6th grade, and the first Mariah Carey album came out, my church had a lip syncing contest. My friend Jenn and I did "Someday" by Mariah Carey. We won the best Lip Syncing Award!
So, here's the question: should we all be freaked out when we learn an artist is lip syncing?
The answer is NO. Pop artists have the worst issues with their voices. They are expected to perform night and day with no vocal health problems. They are also expected to give interviews, act, and dance, all the while being able to sing perfectly for everyone in the process.
This has gone on with pop artists for years! We all know the "Milli Vanilli" era. This is when the technology started getting so good, more artists could get away with Lip Syncing! I'm not condoning Milli Vanilli. That whole situation was a lie. I'm talking more about the artists that really do sing for themselves and are expected to do all of these other feats and sound perfectly!
I've seen numerous artists live. I can definitely tell when they are really singing. I remember watching the Janet Jackson Concert in 2002 and knowing what she was doing. When she actually sat down and sang a slow song, sitting on a stool. She sounded COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. It wasn't bad. It was live singing!
Now, here's the thing about the Beyonce situation from the Inauguration. For all we know, they told her she had to pre-record it, or maybe she had a cold and was worried that she would loose her voice. Have you every sang out side in 30 degree or lower weather? It's pretty awful on the vocal cords in general. I remember, one year for the tree lighting at Rockfeller in New York, Britney Spears sang "Silent Night." She sang it with a coat the barely covered her arms an no scarf or any other coverage on her neck! Enrigque Iglesias sang after her. He had a gigantic scarf on covering his neck and keeping his vocal cords warm! I remember thinking how stupid Britney was being in that weather, and that time, she actually sang live! (Slightly scary!) And then, there's the Youtube video of "Britney Singing Live" that's absolutely terrible! She could actually sing as a child, but a child's stamina is completely different from an adult performer's.
Now, there are artists out there that do sing live all the time. Carrie Underwood gave a concert a couple weeks ago where her voice was giving out. She felt so bad, she publicly apologized to the crowd. Then, she announced on stage, she wasn't keeping a penny she was going to make from that concert, and that she would give it back to the community.
Whitney Houston tried to sing live at most of her shows. Towards the end of her career, that started getting her in trouble. She didn't have the chops to sing through an entire concert any more. There were a lot of upset concert goers at this time in her career.
Here's a little side note about the Beyonce situation. Did you know, that at Military funerals, the trumpeter that plays "TAPS" is prerecorded now? They aren't allowed to have a live trumpeter in most instances. This is a government issue and not the musician's.
If am going to hear a Broadway Singer or Opera Singer, I expect their singing to be live! If I'm going to see an artist, I don't always expect them to do it all live. Good or bad, that's just what I've come to expect these days.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Today's song is "Scream and Shout" by Will I Am featuring Britney Spears. With nonsensical lyrics like, "We oh we Oh we Oh we oh. We oh we oh we oh we oh!" it's really stuck in my head! This song is fun to sing, dance, and just jump around to!
Also, I love seeing Britney in action. I wish there was a little more dancing in the video, especially with her performing it, but I'll live.
I need to take the energy to this song, and use it!
Here's the video!
*Some lyrics may not be appropriate for young listeners!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
A few minutes later, Phone Rings. Co-Worker answers: Hello, this is *Company Name.* How may I help you?
Caller: DID YOU JUST CALL MY BOYFRIEND!!!????!!??
Co-Worker: I'm sorry. This is a business. If we called him, it's because he ordered something.
Caller: WELL, YOU BETTER STOP CALLING MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!! #Hangs Up on Co-Worker#
Yes, this has actually happened at my store more than once!
Yeah for Caller ID.
*Names have been changed.
Monday, January 14, 2013
The first goal is to loose weight. I would like to loose about 30 pounds. For my height, I'm am considered morbidly obese. The only thing is, even loosing just 30 pounds will still keep me on the obese size of the size chart, according to the doctor's office. This year, I'm saying publicly, I'm going to loose the weight!
My second goal is to increase the traffic to my Foodie Blog. Lately, it's been getting at least 30 hits a day. A lot of that traffic is from Pinterest. I'm going to find other ways to get my blog out there in the spotlight without going overboard.
My third goal is to improve my friendships. Keeping friendships as an adult is really hard, especially when in a relationship and that person really is your best friend. I want to work on being a better friend.
These are my New Year's Goals.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
By the time I was eleven, our trailer had been repossessed, and my parents had filed bankruptcy. We went from a two income household to a zero income household. I didn't understand what was going on, besides the fact that we didn't have any money. Nobody ever tried to explain to me what was going on. Not one person sat me down and tried to explain what it means to be poor, or even the opposite, what it means to create a budget and save money.
Both of my parents searched and searched for jobs, but both of them being in their 50's, could not find anything permanent that made close to the amount of money they were making previously. My mother's previous employer paid for her to attend college, since she didn't have any higher education. She got an associates degree in business. My parents both spent time as substitute teachers.
My dad had jobs off and on. He got a job as a property manager at a storage unit facility. He lost that after 2 or three months.
We moved across town into a low income housing edition. My parents looked for jobs. My dad started working at Carrie Home For Boys on the night shift. After sixth grade, we moved again, into a house that we started renting. We lived all the way through my high school years.
This post is just a short history of being poor. Where am I going with this?
My parents NEVER talked money with me or my siblings. We always found out about things on the downward end. The loan that defaulted on my sister's car that she didn't even know about. The credit card my parents were helping me pay for in college, until one day, they just stopped paying the bill, without telling me. The loan my dad took out on my car without telling me, to fix it's transmission. The endless trips to Walmart, K-Mart, and Meijers that we really didn't have money for, but my parents went anyway.
I'm not trying to rat out my parents, but they didn't teach me anything about money. How to save it. How to spend it. How to not go in debt. I'm not trying to blame them either. I just had to learn for myself how to do these things.
This creates the Cycle of Poverty. My parents never gave me the education I needed to learn about money. Maybe it's the generation they grew up in. They are older, the age of most of my friends grandparents. Did anyone else in my age group grow up with this problem? Or did your parents educate you about the proper ways to earn, save, and spend money?
My sister and I had a talk one day about the ways are parents hid whole money issues from us. The secret loans. The trips to the stores. When they had money, they spent it!
I remember, when my uncle died, he gave my mom a sum of money. They bought a used car, which was needed. Then, they proceeded to drive it across the United States. That trip was to see family, but a lot of money was spent to do it. Maybe the rest of that money is how we were able to afford to move that year.
Now that my parents are older, they don't have the money to live off of. I feel horrible because I can't afford to support them and get them the assistance that's needed for this time in their life.
I had a small trust fund to pay for medicine after my transplant. I was told that to keep my insurance, I had to get rid of it. I bought a used car. This was to be safer driving to and from the hospital, which was a little over an hour drive each way. When it came down to it, my social worker asked where that money was. I explained to her that my parents told me to buy a car with it. She shook her head at me in disapproval. I obeyed what my parents had told me to do.
Now, I'm finally paying off the card I had charged most of my medicine on in college.
The current job I have is actually still paying me and keeping me at poverty level. I keep working at my job, because I enjoy it most of the time, and it provides me with insurance. I stated this before in previous blogs: Because I went to college, I have a lot of debt.
This post isn't to tear down my parents. I apologize if it looks like I'm trying to. I'm just trying to organize the thoughts in my head about my history with money. I want to break away from the poverty cycle that has been created in my family. According to other sources, it can take up to six generations to break that cycle. I don't want to be in that situation. I am only the second generation. I don't want my children to live through some of the experiences I have.
So, I will keep chipping away at my debt. I will get educated about money. I will learn how to teach my children about money.