The Self Doubt

I've been working on growing my Mary Kay business while working two other jobs.
I have goals that I am setting that are personal AND professional.
The number one goal is:
TO HAVE A BABY!!! This is where I want to go with my life this year! I want to have a baby before my 40th birthday! I have ONE YEAR to do this!
My professional goals are this:
I want to become a sales director in Mary Kay by January. To do this, I will need to add around 23-28 active team members!
In doing this, I will be able to make Mary Kay my full time profession.
My first small goal is to wake up early enough every morning to put on my make up.
This is an extreme struggle for me!!! I've been watching videos about how to wake up in the morning. So far, nothing has worked for me. I have also been trying to get to bed earlier, but yet, I can't seem to fall asleep before 1am or later.
I need to be more productive at my day job.
I end up having a lot of distractions at my day job. I need to keep myself consistent until January. In December, I will re-evaluate how this is doing.
With these goals, I have had some self doubt issues. I am normally a positive person, but the last two years with the infertility issues have been severely harsh on my psyche. Since my body can't make a baby happen naturally, my mind says I can't do anything else right either. Health, business, job, etc.
Every so often, my brain says, "You can't do this. You are crazy to even fathom those types of goals!"
I usually try to to "shake off" these thoughts and feelings, but some days, it's hard to do!
I am sick of being a "slave" to my 9am-6pm job. I have other goals that I need to accomplish in my life.
I WILL BE A SALES DIRECTOR in Mary Kay!!!