In the light of the news of Obamacare, or the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act, I thought I would share with my readers my health care and insurance, or lack there of, story. There are so many awesome things coming out of this new Health Care Act! I know it will take a few years for them to go into action, but they are happening!
It all started when I was eleven. Both of my parents had lost their jobs, and in turn, our family lost our health insurance. I had severe ear infections. One night, I was crying because my ear hurt so bad, and my parents didn't know what to do. They gave me some acetaminophen to try to make some of the pain go away. In the morning, they got me an appointment with a Community Healthcare Clinic. They took me in and got antibiotics for the ear infection. They told my parents that, if I was going to start going there, they would need to do a full physical. So, my parents had one done. It was because of The Community Health Clinic, we found out I had ureter reflux. The nurse practitioner that worked there was very vigilant on figuring out why I had a kidney infection. She sent me in for a Voiding Cystourethrogram. This test is pretty invasive, but it had to be done. I've had numerous done from 11-14 years old. (Hi, yes, we want you to pee on the table here, in front of us!) I've had more than I can count!
After that, I had to have a Ureter Reimplantation surgery. I was eleven. My parents had not found jobs with insurance yet, and I had to have a major surgery! (It was major then. Now, it's basically out patient surgery!) The clinic insisted I go ahead and see a specialist and get this done. So, my parents took me to the specialist, scheduled a date, and I had the surgery. The cost at the point was $10,000-$15,000! My parents did not have that money! I remember them going in and talking to the hospital social worker about it. In one of these meetings, I remember the social worker handing them a piece of paper stating, the cost had been taken care of! How it happened, I don't know. A person or organization could have done this, or the hospital knew they were never going to see a penny, due to my parents situation, and wrote it off.
Within a short amount of time after that, it was suggested that my parents sign me up for an insurance called, "The Crippled Children's Fund." I got approved, and all of my health care was moved to Riley Hospital for Children in Indianapolis. The insurance also soon changed the name to "Children with Special Health Care Needs." (I just looked it up, and this program still exists!)
By the time I was 13 years old, the doctor at Riley had found out that the reimplantation surgery had not worked. He scheduled another surgery to do the Ureter Reimplantation again. This time, my surgery was covered by the Children with Special Health Care Needs insurance.
After that surgery, my kidneys kept deteriorating. I stayed on that insurance until I was 19 years old. At 19, I started dialysis. When I started dialysis, I was placed on Renal Medicaid and Medicare. A social worker came in to talk to us. She basically said, you have to get a real job with insurance. You're not going to get one with a music performance degree! Around the same time, my mother got a job at Meijer at 65 years old to get herself and me insurance. I was going to college, and she did not want me to quit.
I got my call for my kidney in November of 1999. I was 21 years old. I was trying not to flunk out of college while being sick and on dialysis. A new social worker came in. I was and IU Medical Center, the adult hospital. She was a lot more brash with me. She was one of the first social workers to ever make me cry.
Transplant Medicare only lasts three years. Transplant Medicaid, the insurance that pays for the $5,000 a month in transplant anti-rejection meds, the state can take away from you whenever they feel like you are capable of working. It doesn't matter if you're going to school and trying to get a degree. You're capable. I was told, to quit school and get a job! I didn't want to quit school! My IU Med social worker, the one that made me cry, she told me to get a job at Walmart. So, I did. She said, Walmart gives insurance! I never received insurance through Walmart. In fact, the people that were trying to be full time were getting screwed out of their insurance.
This is how it works: Walmart would schedule the employee four 36-40 hours for two weeks, and then, bring them down to 20-30 hours, which is not full time, for two weeks. Thus, negating the employees eligibility for insurance.
Finally, we figured out that Medicare would pay for more of a percentage of my medicine than we had previously thought. My mother was getting my meds from a pharmacy in Lafayette. The man that owned the pharmacy was also a transplant recipient. He never made my mom pay for the left over cost of the medicine. How she worked that out, I may never know! Then, my time on Renal Medicare ran out, and I was without insurance. I still had to get blood work done. I still had to get my anti-rejection meds.
I went back and talked to my social worker. She encouraged me to put the thousands of dollars of meds on my credit cards, until, she finally got me on a program with the pharmaceutical companies to provide me with my prescriptions at a discounted cost. I still had to go in for the blood work and labs, or the transplant doctors would not keep prescribing my meds. This became very expensive, and not paid for after a while.
I was on the pharmaceutical program for my medicines until I finished my internship, and I got hired at my job. The first day I was not an intern, my boss signed me up for insurance IMMEDIATELY. He did this with no questions asked, which is a miracle. Luckily, I've been insured for the entire time I've worked for my company. Another good thing is, the medicines I am on are now available in generic. That's lowered the price considerably.
My big worry is about the future. What if I try to get on my husband's insurance, and they say no all based on my preexisting conditions? What if I have a child and quit my job to be a stay at home mom? I have to be insured! There's no way I can afford Health Care without insurance! I'm still in debt from the first time around without it.
Oh, and remember how I said that some of my labs didn't get paid for? Well, I started getting calls from a collection agency out of the blue a few years ago. The woman assigned to my case started harassing me on a daily basis at work! I told her I didn't have the money yet. I was willing to make payments, but I didn't have payment in full. Basically, she told me, I should have died instead of getting health care! I had no right to health care if I couldn't afford it!
Health insurance is not a privilege! It's a civil right! Not everyone thinks like I do. They also probably haven't had to live without health insurance during a time of illness.
For you that are out there saying, "Why don't you just get a job?!" You are probably the same conservative people that are saying, "You should be a stay at home mom!" Unless my boyfriend gets a ginormous raise in the next year or two, I'll probably be a working mom, just so I can have insurance.
These are my experiences in dealing with Health Insurance.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Living My Life Style
There has been a lot of buzz lately in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or LDS world about gay Mormons. A couple weeks ago at the Salt Lake City Gay Pride Parade, around three hundred Mormons marched in support of the gay community. Since then, there have been more Mormons that have been marching in the Pride Parades across the nation. I've been reading some stories and experiences that some of these people had. From what I have read, the experience was amazing. I was really sad that I had to work the day of Indy Pride and couldn't get down town for the parade or any of the festivities. During the week, I did attend the Pride of Indy Concert Band and Jazz Band's concert. Those musicians work really hard to create a great musical experience for the community to listen to! I saw so many friends there at that concert.
I was there with my boyfriend. Now, Ian goes along with a lot of the ideas and experiences that I have chosen without complaining. I've been very open about my opinions on individuals being gay, lesbian, and transgendered from the beginning of our relationship. My closest friend when Ian started dating was a gay man. I've had many Gay Boy Friends or Gay Best Friends, however you want to look at that, in my life time. My Gay Boyfriends, as my mom may call them, have treated me with more respect and loved me more than some of the guys that I've dated!
From a very young age, there were LBGT people every where! I just didn't realize it. So, where does this put me? Let me start from the very beginning.
There was one out person in my high school, that I knew of. She was very brave. They even did an article about her in the local news paper. Back then, I didn't think much of it. I didn't even read the article about her. At times, I wonder where she is now. Then, there was one very effeminate guy out that was a couple years younger than me. I think that's when "being gay" started to register with me. Just a little though.
Then, I decided I was going to go to study music in college. I went to college knowing what being gay meant, but not knowing what it would mean in my life.
In music school, I was surrounded by gay men. Not all of the men in music and theater are gay, but a good portion of them are. Soon, I would gain some of my best friends from these men. The gay men in my life have treated me way better than most of the LDS straight men I was expected to date. I could go out with my Gay Boy Friends and know, they don't expect anything physical out of me. I was on a date with an LDS guy, and it was the end of the date. I was like, Thanks, have a nice night. Then, he invited himself into my apartment! We sat down on the couch, and he said, "Do you know what NICMO is?" (Yes, he seriously asked this!!!) I said, "Umm, no." I played dumb. He informed me, "A NICMO is a Non Committal Make Out Session." With in two minutes of that conversation, I said, "I'm turning into a pumpkin, and you need to leave!" (I was definitely too nice!) Those were a lot of the experiences I had with LDS men, whom I was expected to marry!
In college, one of my best roommates, whom is gay, always called me the Golden Gaydar! In fact, we always joked that for Halloween, we should go as Rainbow Boy and the Golden Gaydar! He was gay, yet he always told me, he had no clue, unless he was standing in the middle of a gay bar, if someone is gay or not.
When I was in college, I moved in with two gay men. My sister in law asked my mom, "How could you let her do that!" My mom answered, "They're not going to do anything to her. They're gay!" I always thought that was funny.
Are you a gay Mormon?
My Golden Gaydar can get me in trouble! I've met many gay LDS. Most of them would never admit that, but I just know. My first trip the the Young Single Adults branch in Indianapolis, I met a guy that, the second he opened his mouth, I knew he is gay. Now, he's married to a woman. That is his personal choice.
I dated an LDS guy. We had gone on three or four dates, and he never once tried to hold my hand or kiss me. On our first date, we went on a day trip. Elton John came on the radio, and he exclaimed, "I used to LOVE Elton John, until I found out, he's a FLAMING HOMO!" Well, this didn't sit well with me at the time, but it was our first date, so, I just kept to myself. Later, when we had been dating for about a month, we had gone on a trip with a group of Young Single Adults or YSA's. He saw a gay couple, and immediately started making fun of them. He kept saying to another male YSA, "Hey, Bubba over there wants you! He thinks you're hot!" This really upset me, but I didn't say anything again, because we were in front of the other YSA's, and I was watching the situation from afar.
The final straw was, he decided we were going on a date to see the movie "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." I was preparing myself for a totally offensive movie. In the middle, it actually turns into a movie about having more gay rights. In my opinion, it wasn't really worth paying to see, but that's another story! On the way home, I confronted this guy. Why was he so homophobic? I basically told him, I couldn't date a guy that was, and either he needed to stop, or we weren't going to date any more. That's when he stated, "I feel like a woman trapped inside a man's body." This shocked me for about two seconds. Then, all the sudden, I realized why he was so homophobic! He was trying to prove he didn't have his own issues with his sexuality by projecting how "Manly" he was in his homophobia!
We stopped dating soon after. Then, he got worse. He could sing and play piano. When he was asked to play piano at a church function, he would say no. Then, he would basically tell me, that's a woman's job, without so many words. So he didn't want to be perceived as doing a "Woman's Job!" Then, I was told by the accompanist at the time, that he would criticize her playing after Sacrament! He could sing, but when I asked him to participate in choral activities, he would need his ego stroked before hand. (I don't stroke egos anymore, because of him!) (And that sounds completely wrong!) He wouldn't just participate in musical activities. By the time all of this happened, I was over him and his attitude.
A lot of Christians and LDS decide to live in what are called mixed orientation marriages. A mixed orientation marriage is when one spouse is straight and the other is gay, bi, or transgender. There have been a lot of blogs about this lately. Some of them very positive and some of them, very sad. For the ones that are sad, why would someone choose to live their life in this way? Just because you don't think God will understand? I believe he will. I don't judge people based on there sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is not a choice. You can't just choose to not be gay anymore, or to not have same sex attraction anymore.
To those of you that think that sexual attraction is a choice, you are wrong. I remember having a conversation with one of my best gay friends in college. He said, "I knew at three." THREE?! He told me, "When all of the other little boys were playing on the playground, I wasn't like them. I didn't want to play the way they did. I didn't know I was gay, but I knew I was different."
A lot of the gay men I have talked "just knew" at a very young age. I had a conversation with one friend, and he said, "I would never wish this on anyone! Why would I 'choose' to be gay?" This man had a loving family that supported him and best friends that loved him also. He was also having a very hard life, even with all of the love and support he had.
The LDS church's stance on gay rights is one of the reasons I stayed inactive from the LDS church for so long in college. I attended one Sunday in Terre Haute when I was in college. That Sunday, the Relief Society lesson was on, having freedom to vote in anyway you choose. I felt so lied to. I never went back to that building.
At the time, I had read a bunch of articles on how the church was supporting California Law makers that were for Proposition 8.
I had heard and read people's histories on being gay church members. A lot of them ended up committing suicide because they couldn't take the guilt they were feeling any more. One very public on at the time was about a man who shot himself on a Stake Center's front steps in California. Why would anyone want to impose such guilt and hatred on a person, so much, that they would not want to be alive anymore?
Can't we all just love each other? A family is a unit of people that love each other. I don't think it matters if there's two moms, two dads, or a mom and a dad. I know that God loves all of his sons and daughters, whether or not they are gay, straight, bi, or transgendered. It's time for me to stand up. It's time for me to say, I'm for Marriage Equality!
I was there with my boyfriend. Now, Ian goes along with a lot of the ideas and experiences that I have chosen without complaining. I've been very open about my opinions on individuals being gay, lesbian, and transgendered from the beginning of our relationship. My closest friend when Ian started dating was a gay man. I've had many Gay Boy Friends or Gay Best Friends, however you want to look at that, in my life time. My Gay Boyfriends, as my mom may call them, have treated me with more respect and loved me more than some of the guys that I've dated!
From a very young age, there were LBGT people every where! I just didn't realize it. So, where does this put me? Let me start from the very beginning.
There was one out person in my high school, that I knew of. She was very brave. They even did an article about her in the local news paper. Back then, I didn't think much of it. I didn't even read the article about her. At times, I wonder where she is now. Then, there was one very effeminate guy out that was a couple years younger than me. I think that's when "being gay" started to register with me. Just a little though.
Then, I decided I was going to go to study music in college. I went to college knowing what being gay meant, but not knowing what it would mean in my life.
In music school, I was surrounded by gay men. Not all of the men in music and theater are gay, but a good portion of them are. Soon, I would gain some of my best friends from these men. The gay men in my life have treated me way better than most of the LDS straight men I was expected to date. I could go out with my Gay Boy Friends and know, they don't expect anything physical out of me. I was on a date with an LDS guy, and it was the end of the date. I was like, Thanks, have a nice night. Then, he invited himself into my apartment! We sat down on the couch, and he said, "Do you know what NICMO is?" (Yes, he seriously asked this!!!) I said, "Umm, no." I played dumb. He informed me, "A NICMO is a Non Committal Make Out Session." With in two minutes of that conversation, I said, "I'm turning into a pumpkin, and you need to leave!" (I was definitely too nice!) Those were a lot of the experiences I had with LDS men, whom I was expected to marry!
In college, one of my best roommates, whom is gay, always called me the Golden Gaydar! In fact, we always joked that for Halloween, we should go as Rainbow Boy and the Golden Gaydar! He was gay, yet he always told me, he had no clue, unless he was standing in the middle of a gay bar, if someone is gay or not.
When I was in college, I moved in with two gay men. My sister in law asked my mom, "How could you let her do that!" My mom answered, "They're not going to do anything to her. They're gay!" I always thought that was funny.
Are you a gay Mormon?
My Golden Gaydar can get me in trouble! I've met many gay LDS. Most of them would never admit that, but I just know. My first trip the the Young Single Adults branch in Indianapolis, I met a guy that, the second he opened his mouth, I knew he is gay. Now, he's married to a woman. That is his personal choice.
I dated an LDS guy. We had gone on three or four dates, and he never once tried to hold my hand or kiss me. On our first date, we went on a day trip. Elton John came on the radio, and he exclaimed, "I used to LOVE Elton John, until I found out, he's a FLAMING HOMO!" Well, this didn't sit well with me at the time, but it was our first date, so, I just kept to myself. Later, when we had been dating for about a month, we had gone on a trip with a group of Young Single Adults or YSA's. He saw a gay couple, and immediately started making fun of them. He kept saying to another male YSA, "Hey, Bubba over there wants you! He thinks you're hot!" This really upset me, but I didn't say anything again, because we were in front of the other YSA's, and I was watching the situation from afar.
The final straw was, he decided we were going on a date to see the movie "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." I was preparing myself for a totally offensive movie. In the middle, it actually turns into a movie about having more gay rights. In my opinion, it wasn't really worth paying to see, but that's another story! On the way home, I confronted this guy. Why was he so homophobic? I basically told him, I couldn't date a guy that was, and either he needed to stop, or we weren't going to date any more. That's when he stated, "I feel like a woman trapped inside a man's body." This shocked me for about two seconds. Then, all the sudden, I realized why he was so homophobic! He was trying to prove he didn't have his own issues with his sexuality by projecting how "Manly" he was in his homophobia!
We stopped dating soon after. Then, he got worse. He could sing and play piano. When he was asked to play piano at a church function, he would say no. Then, he would basically tell me, that's a woman's job, without so many words. So he didn't want to be perceived as doing a "Woman's Job!" Then, I was told by the accompanist at the time, that he would criticize her playing after Sacrament! He could sing, but when I asked him to participate in choral activities, he would need his ego stroked before hand. (I don't stroke egos anymore, because of him!) (And that sounds completely wrong!) He wouldn't just participate in musical activities. By the time all of this happened, I was over him and his attitude.
A lot of Christians and LDS decide to live in what are called mixed orientation marriages. A mixed orientation marriage is when one spouse is straight and the other is gay, bi, or transgender. There have been a lot of blogs about this lately. Some of them very positive and some of them, very sad. For the ones that are sad, why would someone choose to live their life in this way? Just because you don't think God will understand? I believe he will. I don't judge people based on there sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is not a choice. You can't just choose to not be gay anymore, or to not have same sex attraction anymore.
To those of you that think that sexual attraction is a choice, you are wrong. I remember having a conversation with one of my best gay friends in college. He said, "I knew at three." THREE?! He told me, "When all of the other little boys were playing on the playground, I wasn't like them. I didn't want to play the way they did. I didn't know I was gay, but I knew I was different."
A lot of the gay men I have talked "just knew" at a very young age. I had a conversation with one friend, and he said, "I would never wish this on anyone! Why would I 'choose' to be gay?" This man had a loving family that supported him and best friends that loved him also. He was also having a very hard life, even with all of the love and support he had.
The LDS church's stance on gay rights is one of the reasons I stayed inactive from the LDS church for so long in college. I attended one Sunday in Terre Haute when I was in college. That Sunday, the Relief Society lesson was on, having freedom to vote in anyway you choose. I felt so lied to. I never went back to that building.
At the time, I had read a bunch of articles on how the church was supporting California Law makers that were for Proposition 8.
I had heard and read people's histories on being gay church members. A lot of them ended up committing suicide because they couldn't take the guilt they were feeling any more. One very public on at the time was about a man who shot himself on a Stake Center's front steps in California. Why would anyone want to impose such guilt and hatred on a person, so much, that they would not want to be alive anymore?
Can't we all just love each other? A family is a unit of people that love each other. I don't think it matters if there's two moms, two dads, or a mom and a dad. I know that God loves all of his sons and daughters, whether or not they are gay, straight, bi, or transgendered. It's time for me to stand up. It's time for me to say, I'm for Marriage Equality!
Friday, June 8, 2012
The Sheer Panic!
I have a really hard time with loosing control. I'm sure I've had this problem my entire life. Lately, it's been a lot worse!
I hate flying! I can't stand that I'm not the one in control of the plane. When Ian and I flew to Florida in November, I went straight to my doctor and asked for medicinal help. He gave me a prescription. It did nothing for me! Ian just about lost some fingers, I was squeezing his hand so tight!
As that vacation week went on, I had a few moments where my panic got worse. The first day, we went to Magic Kingdom. Ian rode all of the rides. I sat on the sidelines. The weird thing about that is, I've ridden a lot of those rides before. It was eight years ago, but I did! What was the difference this time? Disney is very kind and puts a very descriptive sign out for each ride. I would read each sign, and feel panic just from the description! After reading the sign for Pirates of the Caribbean, I couldn't get on it. I sent Ian on it. He came out and said, yes, there is a drop, but it's not too bad. I wouldn't get on it! In fact, We decided to go to Magic kingdom for a third time, I didn't ride it until the very last time!
When Ian and I were in Epcot, I was doing ok, until we rode the Journey to Imagination with Figment ride. At the end of the ride, there's a surprise ending. It's nothing crazy, like a drop or anything, but the whole music and set changes at a blink of an eye. It scared the crap out of me! I was in panic mode for the rest of the day. It hindered me from getting on normal rides! I couldn't even get on the ride, Soarin' after that! That was sad, because a lot of people tell me they love that ride! We were riding Ellen's Energy Adventure, and I could feel my panic getting worse through the entire ride. The Ellen ride is just a slow moving ride that starts as a movie. While you're watching the movie, the rows of seats start moving forward, and you realize, they are really "Cars" or moving vehicles. For some reason, my brain kept turning this into, "Oh, No! This is going to turn into a roller coaster!" Which wasn't true. I was a ball of nerves that entire day! I let my panic control my day instead of me!
On our flight back from Florida, I took more of the drugs. Maybe, I should have been taking them the whole week. Although, I pretty much figured out, whatever my doctor gave me doesn't really work for me. I love going places, whether it's Florida or California. I know the best way to get to these places is to fly. I need to figure out why I'm having so many issues with panicking. Plus, why couldn't I get on the rides that I had even ridden before? They weren't that bad. I survived the times I had ridden them before! Part of me realizes that the fears and panic have gotten worse since my robbery two years ago. Maybe that's impacting me more than I think it is. I need to figure out what's going on, so, I can get on with my life!
I hate flying! I can't stand that I'm not the one in control of the plane. When Ian and I flew to Florida in November, I went straight to my doctor and asked for medicinal help. He gave me a prescription. It did nothing for me! Ian just about lost some fingers, I was squeezing his hand so tight!
As that vacation week went on, I had a few moments where my panic got worse. The first day, we went to Magic Kingdom. Ian rode all of the rides. I sat on the sidelines. The weird thing about that is, I've ridden a lot of those rides before. It was eight years ago, but I did! What was the difference this time? Disney is very kind and puts a very descriptive sign out for each ride. I would read each sign, and feel panic just from the description! After reading the sign for Pirates of the Caribbean, I couldn't get on it. I sent Ian on it. He came out and said, yes, there is a drop, but it's not too bad. I wouldn't get on it! In fact, We decided to go to Magic kingdom for a third time, I didn't ride it until the very last time!
When Ian and I were in Epcot, I was doing ok, until we rode the Journey to Imagination with Figment ride. At the end of the ride, there's a surprise ending. It's nothing crazy, like a drop or anything, but the whole music and set changes at a blink of an eye. It scared the crap out of me! I was in panic mode for the rest of the day. It hindered me from getting on normal rides! I couldn't even get on the ride, Soarin' after that! That was sad, because a lot of people tell me they love that ride! We were riding Ellen's Energy Adventure, and I could feel my panic getting worse through the entire ride. The Ellen ride is just a slow moving ride that starts as a movie. While you're watching the movie, the rows of seats start moving forward, and you realize, they are really "Cars" or moving vehicles. For some reason, my brain kept turning this into, "Oh, No! This is going to turn into a roller coaster!" Which wasn't true. I was a ball of nerves that entire day! I let my panic control my day instead of me!
On our flight back from Florida, I took more of the drugs. Maybe, I should have been taking them the whole week. Although, I pretty much figured out, whatever my doctor gave me doesn't really work for me. I love going places, whether it's Florida or California. I know the best way to get to these places is to fly. I need to figure out why I'm having so many issues with panicking. Plus, why couldn't I get on the rides that I had even ridden before? They weren't that bad. I survived the times I had ridden them before! Part of me realizes that the fears and panic have gotten worse since my robbery two years ago. Maybe that's impacting me more than I think it is. I need to figure out what's going on, so, I can get on with my life!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Taking Offense
I've been told a lot in my life time, "One Chooses to be offended!" Is this true? I had a memory come to mind that made me think of this.
I was teaching the women's class at my church, or Relief Society a song we were going to sing in Sacrament. The whole time I was trying to teach, I could hear constant muttering over me. I finally figured out who it was and said something to the person. I'm sure I said it politely, like, "Please Stop Talking!" or something to that effect. Well, this person got mad and stormed out of the Chapel.
This made ME feel awful! Why should I feel awful!? She was the one talking over me, when I was teaching the group! I guess I chose to be offended, and still do to this day, that she would react in that manner.
Afterwards, I went up and apologized to her. She explained to me that she was having a really bad day, and I wasn't helping her. From that point on, we really didn't get along. I tried to just tell myself, it was a difference in maturity levels, as in, she acted like a child. Maybe I shouldn't have pointed her out, but she was the one disrupting the class!
Random side note: After this happened, I had a dream about this person. She had made me really upset. I don't even know what about, but I was screaming and cursing at her in my dream! That was just strange!
I'm having a really hard time with pointing out people, whether they are being disruptive or just doing something wrong in general. Now, I direct a choir, and I have my days where I'm scared to death, I'm going to piss somebody off! The members of my choir keep reassuring me that, I should point people out. I'm the director! It's my job! If they are singing something wrong or doing a dance move wrong, I need to make sure they know. I also know that, part of the reason the members joined the choir is for a social activity. I don't want to ruin that for them!
Some days, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. Others, I'm perfectly fine! I just need to learn, it's O.K. to point people out! After those rehearsals, I feel horrible! They don't happen often. It's hard to me to say to an adult, "Hi, yeah, you're the one disrupting this whole rehearsal. Could you please stop talking!" I really feel I shouldn't have too. We are all adults! Shouldn't we all act like it?
I'm really working on this. I just need to accept, if someone gets offended and never comes back, maybe they shouldn't have been in the choir in the first place. I've also asked a lot of the choir members to start helping me out with this. They agree that, sometimes there's too much talking. We are also going to plan more social activities outside of rehearsal. We really do like each other and want to let each other know what's going on in our lives!
I'm to the point that, I shouldn't let an experience that happened in church five or six years ago ruin my ability to direct my choir! I love my choir! I love the people in my choir! They are awesome and work so hard to get things accomplished!
*This is probably showing one of my weaknesses, but admitting the weakness is the first step to overcoming it!
Does one choose to be offended? Most of the time, people are not trying to intentionally hurt another person's feelings. They just don't get that what they say is so hurtful. Maybe, they are just trying to help you are the rest of the group (in my situations) progress.
Another memory comes to mind. The Church choir was rehearsing for a Christmas Program. People kept talking and joking around. The group wasn't getting anything accomplished. The choir director, whom I love dearly, was having a hard time getting people to cooperate. The choir members just thought the whole thing was hilarious! I was offended, as a choir member, that adults would act like this! I finally said something to the whole group. It was to the effect of, "We could get a lot more done if people would stop goofing off!" Then, the matriarch of one of the families replied, "Oh, she (the choir director) doesn't care! It proves we love her!" So, screwing around and ruining the choir rehearsal for every one else, proves to the choir director that you love her?! Really?! The choir is lucky that's all I said! The next time, I'm not going to be so nice!
I really am getting meaner in my old age. I tell people this all the time! They just laugh at me. One of these days, they won't know what hit them!
Is there an appropriate time to be offended? I don't want to be accused of over reacting. That's the coming reaction to someone being offended. "Oh, they're just over reacting!" But is this a true statement? What do you think?
I was teaching the women's class at my church, or Relief Society a song we were going to sing in Sacrament. The whole time I was trying to teach, I could hear constant muttering over me. I finally figured out who it was and said something to the person. I'm sure I said it politely, like, "Please Stop Talking!" or something to that effect. Well, this person got mad and stormed out of the Chapel.
This made ME feel awful! Why should I feel awful!? She was the one talking over me, when I was teaching the group! I guess I chose to be offended, and still do to this day, that she would react in that manner.
Afterwards, I went up and apologized to her. She explained to me that she was having a really bad day, and I wasn't helping her. From that point on, we really didn't get along. I tried to just tell myself, it was a difference in maturity levels, as in, she acted like a child. Maybe I shouldn't have pointed her out, but she was the one disrupting the class!
Random side note: After this happened, I had a dream about this person. She had made me really upset. I don't even know what about, but I was screaming and cursing at her in my dream! That was just strange!
I'm having a really hard time with pointing out people, whether they are being disruptive or just doing something wrong in general. Now, I direct a choir, and I have my days where I'm scared to death, I'm going to piss somebody off! The members of my choir keep reassuring me that, I should point people out. I'm the director! It's my job! If they are singing something wrong or doing a dance move wrong, I need to make sure they know. I also know that, part of the reason the members joined the choir is for a social activity. I don't want to ruin that for them!
Some days, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. Others, I'm perfectly fine! I just need to learn, it's O.K. to point people out! After those rehearsals, I feel horrible! They don't happen often. It's hard to me to say to an adult, "Hi, yeah, you're the one disrupting this whole rehearsal. Could you please stop talking!" I really feel I shouldn't have too. We are all adults! Shouldn't we all act like it?
I'm really working on this. I just need to accept, if someone gets offended and never comes back, maybe they shouldn't have been in the choir in the first place. I've also asked a lot of the choir members to start helping me out with this. They agree that, sometimes there's too much talking. We are also going to plan more social activities outside of rehearsal. We really do like each other and want to let each other know what's going on in our lives!
I'm to the point that, I shouldn't let an experience that happened in church five or six years ago ruin my ability to direct my choir! I love my choir! I love the people in my choir! They are awesome and work so hard to get things accomplished!
*This is probably showing one of my weaknesses, but admitting the weakness is the first step to overcoming it!
Does one choose to be offended? Most of the time, people are not trying to intentionally hurt another person's feelings. They just don't get that what they say is so hurtful. Maybe, they are just trying to help you are the rest of the group (in my situations) progress.
Another memory comes to mind. The Church choir was rehearsing for a Christmas Program. People kept talking and joking around. The group wasn't getting anything accomplished. The choir director, whom I love dearly, was having a hard time getting people to cooperate. The choir members just thought the whole thing was hilarious! I was offended, as a choir member, that adults would act like this! I finally said something to the whole group. It was to the effect of, "We could get a lot more done if people would stop goofing off!" Then, the matriarch of one of the families replied, "Oh, she (the choir director) doesn't care! It proves we love her!" So, screwing around and ruining the choir rehearsal for every one else, proves to the choir director that you love her?! Really?! The choir is lucky that's all I said! The next time, I'm not going to be so nice!
I really am getting meaner in my old age. I tell people this all the time! They just laugh at me. One of these days, they won't know what hit them!
Is there an appropriate time to be offended? I don't want to be accused of over reacting. That's the coming reaction to someone being offended. "Oh, they're just over reacting!" But is this a true statement? What do you think?
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Being Bullied: My Story
I was in the sixth grade. I had moved from one middle school to another mid-year. At the new school, I had to ride the bus every single morning and afternoon to get to and from school. The school was way too far away to walk, and my parents didn't see the logic in driving me there when there was a perfectly good bus to ride.
We were living in low income housing at the time, because my father had lost his job. This meant most of the neighborhood kids were also living in the same situation. Their parents were probably having financial issues too. These kids were relentless! Everyday, the bus situation was my living Hell! Getting to and from school alive was my only goal to accomplish in life!
Even the bus driver hated the situation! She had no clue what she was doing or how to calm down and control kids. At one point, she had one of those round lumbar pillows she was hitting the bad kids in the head with. I think at one point, my parents must have asked that I be sat in the front seat to be closer to her. They thought maybe the bus rides would go better for me then. But soon it just turned into the bus driver yelling over my head at the kids that were misbehaving.
There was one kid named Elmer. He treated me the worst of all of them. Side note, teach your children, if they have a crush on another kid, not to be mean to her, call her names, steal and tear up her things. I don't know if this was Elmer's problem, or if he was just a little jerk! I would wear headphones and have a cassette player. That way, I could be in my own little world with my music. Well, Elmer figured this out! He ripped the headphones off of my head and broke them! I remember my dad meeting me that day when I got off of the bus, and I was just bawling.
My answer: Stop going to school! I would miss one day of school a week at least. I would tell my parents that I didn't feel well, which was actually true at the time, because of my kidney issues. They would not make me go to school! Finally figured out, the kids that missed school the most, got made fun of by the teachers. They made comments like, "Oh, she's absent again. Must be Wednesday!"
I started to feel really embarrassed by this. Finally, I decided, I was not going to miss anymore school! That week, I got an ear infection. My parents decided I wasn't going to go to school. They didn't even wake me up! That's the day the principal decided to call my parents. My dad was working nights and sleeping days, so, I just happened to answer the phone when the principal called! That really scared me! I thought, "Oh, no! I'm in real trouble now!" My parents never punished me for missing school though. Like I said, I finally did make the decision that I was going to go anyway, no matter how awful it was! I did make a friend. Her name was Bethany. My parents actually made arrangements for me to starting riding the bus home with her once or twice a week. That made my life better to get away from the kids on my bus.
It did finally get better, as they say. The next year, my parents decided to rent a house that was in the school district we had moved from the year before. These bullying experiences have impacted my life! My sixth grade year wasn't my only bullying experience, but one of the longer lasting situations. I know I didn't want to be treated like that, and I would never want to make anyone feel the way I did!
We were living in low income housing at the time, because my father had lost his job. This meant most of the neighborhood kids were also living in the same situation. Their parents were probably having financial issues too. These kids were relentless! Everyday, the bus situation was my living Hell! Getting to and from school alive was my only goal to accomplish in life!
Even the bus driver hated the situation! She had no clue what she was doing or how to calm down and control kids. At one point, she had one of those round lumbar pillows she was hitting the bad kids in the head with. I think at one point, my parents must have asked that I be sat in the front seat to be closer to her. They thought maybe the bus rides would go better for me then. But soon it just turned into the bus driver yelling over my head at the kids that were misbehaving.
There was one kid named Elmer. He treated me the worst of all of them. Side note, teach your children, if they have a crush on another kid, not to be mean to her, call her names, steal and tear up her things. I don't know if this was Elmer's problem, or if he was just a little jerk! I would wear headphones and have a cassette player. That way, I could be in my own little world with my music. Well, Elmer figured this out! He ripped the headphones off of my head and broke them! I remember my dad meeting me that day when I got off of the bus, and I was just bawling.
My answer: Stop going to school! I would miss one day of school a week at least. I would tell my parents that I didn't feel well, which was actually true at the time, because of my kidney issues. They would not make me go to school! Finally figured out, the kids that missed school the most, got made fun of by the teachers. They made comments like, "Oh, she's absent again. Must be Wednesday!"
I started to feel really embarrassed by this. Finally, I decided, I was not going to miss anymore school! That week, I got an ear infection. My parents decided I wasn't going to go to school. They didn't even wake me up! That's the day the principal decided to call my parents. My dad was working nights and sleeping days, so, I just happened to answer the phone when the principal called! That really scared me! I thought, "Oh, no! I'm in real trouble now!" My parents never punished me for missing school though. Like I said, I finally did make the decision that I was going to go anyway, no matter how awful it was! I did make a friend. Her name was Bethany. My parents actually made arrangements for me to starting riding the bus home with her once or twice a week. That made my life better to get away from the kids on my bus.
It did finally get better, as they say. The next year, my parents decided to rent a house that was in the school district we had moved from the year before. These bullying experiences have impacted my life! My sixth grade year wasn't my only bullying experience, but one of the longer lasting situations. I know I didn't want to be treated like that, and I would never want to make anyone feel the way I did!
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Some Little Pet Peeves of Mine
Everyone has them. Those little things that other people do that just drive you crazy!!! Well, I'm going to mention a few on here!
Whistlers: Seriously! Any kind of whistling hurts my ears! Whether the person is whistling because they have a tune stuck in their head, or they are whistling at a sports event, or even to get a person's attention. The sound is one of the most terrible sounds in the World to me! As a child and through my teenage years, I had severe ear infections. This causes part of my problem with the shrill sound annoying me. I would think that other people with ear issues, hearing problems, and even hearing aids would feel the same way about it that I do. But maybe I'm wrong. So, the next time you're at a concert or a game, and you think that something needs whistled at, please think twice. It really is hurting someone's ears!
Irresponsible Parents: I'll start by saying this, I know people aren't perfect! I'm definitely not. But why do parents think it is O.K. to take their children out past bed time, and then, get mad at the child's melt down!? The child is tired, and that parent is the idiot that decided to take him/her out! I'd rather hear the child cry then hear the parent making the "SSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" sound! That sound really annoys me, and I find it more disruptive than whispering to the child or talking to the child.
I have a couple examples. The first one is, when Ian and I went to Disney World. We took advantage of a lot of the EMH, or Extra Magic Hours, especially in the evenings. If you're not familiar with EMH, it's when the parks stay open later for people that are staying on the Disney Resort properties. That way, they can ride the attractions without as many extra people there.
Ian and I were at Hollywood Studios, and Ian decided to ride the Aerosmith Rockin' Roller Coaster. I decided not to. While I was waiting for him, a little girl, maybe two probably younger, was screaming her head off! Well, of course the poor thing was! It was after eleven o'clock at night! The mother wasn't handling this very well. I could tell she was getting frustrated! She was using some angry words with the little one along with the shushing. Honestly, take the poor thing back to the hotel and let her sleep!
The next example I will give is when Ian and I went to see the "Avengers" movie last month. We went to a 9:30pm showing for a reason. Plus, that movie is PG-13! A couple brought their little boy. He was maybe almost five! He started making comments during the previews, which even some of those scared me! When the movie started, he started saying, "Mommy, I'm scared!" "Mommy, what are they doing?" "Mommy, what's going on?!" He was obviously way too young for the movie! The mom, again, was shushing the kid and was visibly mad at him every time she had to take him out because he was afraid of the movie! Here's some advice: HIRE A BABYSITTER! Thank you for ruining all of the other movie goers experience because you're irresponsible parents!
My last example is, parents who think it's ok to take their kids to the grocery store in the late evening! I go late at night for a reason! OK, maybe there's an emergency where you need to just run to the store with your kid in tow, but that's not what I see most of the time. I see the upset parent that is cussing his/her child out for crying! Really?! You should be mad at yourself! Not the child!
Disclaimer: I know children cry. I know they can have melt downs at any time of day! And for anyone that says to me, "Wait until you have kids!" I'm learning by your examples what NOT to do!
Lack of Turn Signals: You know that driver that thinks he's gonna cut in front of me without a turn signal? Well, he's not. I'm not letting him in! People! LEARN TO USE TURN SIGNALS! I'm not a nice, polite driver unless that driver learns what the laws are and how to drive! My friend Caitlin has a little blog about it! I know how she feels!
The High Maintenance Customer: I really love a lot of my customers! But every once in a while, I get that one who comes in, and I have to hold his/her hand through the entire shopping process! I know customers are going to have questions, and that's perfectly fine and normal! The high maintenance customer is the one that comes in, doesn't know what they want, and wants you to tell them what to buy! Some of you might think this is a good thing. Hey, just tell them to buy everything, right? Well, this is when, every suggestion you make, they tell you is WRONG! As in, no, that's not at all what they are looking for! Then, it just goes down hill from here! The worse part is, when in the end, I'll find out something like, they don't even play an instrument. They were looking for their nephew or insert some random relative here. Basically, they were wasting my time!
These are some of my biggest pet peeves! Their just a few little things that set me off! Everyone has something that other people do, that drives them crazy!
Whistlers: Seriously! Any kind of whistling hurts my ears! Whether the person is whistling because they have a tune stuck in their head, or they are whistling at a sports event, or even to get a person's attention. The sound is one of the most terrible sounds in the World to me! As a child and through my teenage years, I had severe ear infections. This causes part of my problem with the shrill sound annoying me. I would think that other people with ear issues, hearing problems, and even hearing aids would feel the same way about it that I do. But maybe I'm wrong. So, the next time you're at a concert or a game, and you think that something needs whistled at, please think twice. It really is hurting someone's ears!
Irresponsible Parents: I'll start by saying this, I know people aren't perfect! I'm definitely not. But why do parents think it is O.K. to take their children out past bed time, and then, get mad at the child's melt down!? The child is tired, and that parent is the idiot that decided to take him/her out! I'd rather hear the child cry then hear the parent making the "SSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" sound! That sound really annoys me, and I find it more disruptive than whispering to the child or talking to the child.
I have a couple examples. The first one is, when Ian and I went to Disney World. We took advantage of a lot of the EMH, or Extra Magic Hours, especially in the evenings. If you're not familiar with EMH, it's when the parks stay open later for people that are staying on the Disney Resort properties. That way, they can ride the attractions without as many extra people there.
Ian and I were at Hollywood Studios, and Ian decided to ride the Aerosmith Rockin' Roller Coaster. I decided not to. While I was waiting for him, a little girl, maybe two probably younger, was screaming her head off! Well, of course the poor thing was! It was after eleven o'clock at night! The mother wasn't handling this very well. I could tell she was getting frustrated! She was using some angry words with the little one along with the shushing. Honestly, take the poor thing back to the hotel and let her sleep!
The next example I will give is when Ian and I went to see the "Avengers" movie last month. We went to a 9:30pm showing for a reason. Plus, that movie is PG-13! A couple brought their little boy. He was maybe almost five! He started making comments during the previews, which even some of those scared me! When the movie started, he started saying, "Mommy, I'm scared!" "Mommy, what are they doing?" "Mommy, what's going on?!" He was obviously way too young for the movie! The mom, again, was shushing the kid and was visibly mad at him every time she had to take him out because he was afraid of the movie! Here's some advice: HIRE A BABYSITTER! Thank you for ruining all of the other movie goers experience because you're irresponsible parents!
My last example is, parents who think it's ok to take their kids to the grocery store in the late evening! I go late at night for a reason! OK, maybe there's an emergency where you need to just run to the store with your kid in tow, but that's not what I see most of the time. I see the upset parent that is cussing his/her child out for crying! Really?! You should be mad at yourself! Not the child!
Disclaimer: I know children cry. I know they can have melt downs at any time of day! And for anyone that says to me, "Wait until you have kids!" I'm learning by your examples what NOT to do!
Lack of Turn Signals: You know that driver that thinks he's gonna cut in front of me without a turn signal? Well, he's not. I'm not letting him in! People! LEARN TO USE TURN SIGNALS! I'm not a nice, polite driver unless that driver learns what the laws are and how to drive! My friend Caitlin has a little blog about it! I know how she feels!
The High Maintenance Customer: I really love a lot of my customers! But every once in a while, I get that one who comes in, and I have to hold his/her hand through the entire shopping process! I know customers are going to have questions, and that's perfectly fine and normal! The high maintenance customer is the one that comes in, doesn't know what they want, and wants you to tell them what to buy! Some of you might think this is a good thing. Hey, just tell them to buy everything, right? Well, this is when, every suggestion you make, they tell you is WRONG! As in, no, that's not at all what they are looking for! Then, it just goes down hill from here! The worse part is, when in the end, I'll find out something like, they don't even play an instrument. They were looking for their nephew or insert some random relative here. Basically, they were wasting my time!
These are some of my biggest pet peeves! Their just a few little things that set me off! Everyone has something that other people do, that drives them crazy!
Friday, June 1, 2012
Cooking for your enjoyment!
I love to cook! It's like, I'm the mad scientist doing a science experiment, except, in the end, I get to eat it! I'm not really good with measuring the ingredients though. This can be a problem, especially if someone wants to recreate what I'm making. A lot of my recipes are in my head, like a grandma would cook! So, I started putting them on my pizza blog! This may be confusing to some, but I'm just trying to get them in writing! I also still make and eat pizza every once in a while. I'll keep posting about that too! So, don't worry about missing me eating and blogging about pizza!
My favorite dishes to cook are probably Mexican or Tex Mex inspired. I seem to like a lot of mildly spicy food!
When someone compliments my cooking, I really appreciate it. I think a lot of people feel that way about their own craft or hobby. Usually when I read a recipe, I'm already thinking about what I can change to make it taste better, different, or to my liking. It really hard for me to follow a recipe exactly!
My favorite part of the cooking is using seasoning, herb, and spices. You can change the whole out come of a dish just because of the seasoning you use! Some of my friends make fun of my for my assortment of seasonings. Trust me, I'm barely using a quarter of what the rest of the world uses to season their food!
This is so exciting to me, I decided to share it with everyone on my pizza blog! So, this is when it becomes cooking for your enjoyment! Everyone out there can see what I do to cook dinner every night.
Enjoy!
My favorite dishes to cook are probably Mexican or Tex Mex inspired. I seem to like a lot of mildly spicy food!
When someone compliments my cooking, I really appreciate it. I think a lot of people feel that way about their own craft or hobby. Usually when I read a recipe, I'm already thinking about what I can change to make it taste better, different, or to my liking. It really hard for me to follow a recipe exactly!
My favorite part of the cooking is using seasoning, herb, and spices. You can change the whole out come of a dish just because of the seasoning you use! Some of my friends make fun of my for my assortment of seasonings. Trust me, I'm barely using a quarter of what the rest of the world uses to season their food!
This is so exciting to me, I decided to share it with everyone on my pizza blog! So, this is when it becomes cooking for your enjoyment! Everyone out there can see what I do to cook dinner every night.
Enjoy!
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