This was on Jimmy Kimmel, written by his outsourced Indian writers:
What did Mary Magdeline text when she got excited?
OMFIL! (Oh My Father in Law!)
I started asking the question, was Jesus married at the very young age of twelve. I was in a Sunday School Class, and we were discussing how marriage is a commandment of God. That's when I started asking, if marriage was a commandment, wouldn't Jesus have too be married at some point to be "perfect?" That's when my Sunday School teacher just stared at me and shrugged his shoulders. He said, "I can't answer that question."
There are allegations about the fragment of papyrus that has been found that states, "Jesus said to them, My wife." That is what got me thinking about this again.
Remember, these are my own personal thoughts on this. I'm not writing scripture, nor do I claim to be. I did however read "The Da Vinci Code." Now, I know this is a fictional story, but it did get me thinking, why wouldn't Jesus get married?
One time, at work, we got into a bit of a religious conversation. That's always a bad thing to do at work for certain reasons I won't mention at the moment. For some reason, we were originally talking about Martin Scorcese films. Somehow, we were talking about the film "The Last Temptation of Christ." At the time, I knew very little about the plot, but the understanding I had was, when Jesus was dying on the cross, he was thinking about the life he could have had with Mary Magdeline. (I honestly have never watched the movie, and it's not exactly at the top of my watch list at the moment.) I explained the plot to a coworker, and she flipped out! She exclaimed, "JESUS WOULD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN MARRIED! That would have made him a lustful man! And Jesus was NOT LUSTFUL!"
I answered, "Getting married is a sin?!?! I didn't know that!"
But does getting married have to make you a lustful person? Or are you fulfilling God's plan? Or is it just a business proposition? Back in biblical times, marriage really had nothing to do with love anyway. It had more to do with continuing the blood line and also, what kind of status or class that person had. It had more to do with, that person will give me their cows and their land, or whatever they had if I give him my daughter. Personally, that sounds awful to me, but it was what it was.
Only in the last a hundred or two hundred years did marriage really become about marrying someone because of love.
The other thing I think about is poor Mary Magdeline! If she and Jesus weren't married, or if she at least wasn't married to one of the apostles, she must of had the worse case of best friend syndrome EVER! You know, that girl that hangs out with a guy because she's in love, but it never turns into anything romantic! She continued to follow him around for the rest of her life after they met. I mean, he did say kind things to her, and made her feel loved. A lot of women fall for that!
There's a movie I really like by Kevin Smith named "Dogma." I have a thing for the crassness of Jay and Silent Bob. They make me laugh! (Spoiler Alert!) Part of the plot of this movie was that, Jesus did get married to Mary Magdeline and the did have ancestors. (And call me crazy, but I love Buddy Jesus!) It seems that this theme has been around for years and years.
I'm not trying to be sacrilegious. This is something that I've thought about since I was twelve years old! I also have this thing called a since of humor. I think God has one too. God would be really boring if he didn't!